“She seems, at times, to have read your thoughts. She disarms you by saying, essentially, I know what you’re thinking and I agree, I’m ridiculous, I’m far less than I could have been and I’d like it to be otherwise but I can’t seem to help myself. You find that you move, almost against your will, from being irritated with her to consoling her, helping her back into her performance so that she can be comfortable again and you can resume feeling irritated.”

         “She seems, at times, to have read your thoughts. She disarms you by saying, essentially, I know what you’re thinking and I agree, I’m ridiculous, I’m far less than I could have been and I’d like it to be otherwise but I can’t seem to help myself. You find that you move, almost against your will, from being irritated with her to consoling her, helping her back into her performance so that she can be comfortable again and you can resume feeling irritated.”


                  Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. They both had believed in it once, too, back when they were eighteen. But love was messy, just like life. It took turns that people couldn’t foresee or even understand, leaving a long trail of regret in its wake. And almost always, those regrets led to the kinds of what if questions that could never be answered.

                  Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. They both had believed in it once, too, back when they were eighteen. But love was messy, just like life. It took turns that people couldn’t foresee or even understand, leaving a long trail of regret in its wake. And almost always, those regrets led to the kinds of what if questions that could never be answered.

             It’s the way you remember feeling when you looked at them. 
   When I looked at him, I felt real, unconditional love. And I felt completely loved. He was the only person I ever met whose soul I could clearly see in his eyes. And I had more faith in him than I’ve ever had in another human being. 
          After I lost him, on the rare occassions I saw him, I could feel the shape, the moving embodiment, of the hole in my heart.

             It’s the way you remember feeling when you looked at them.

   When I looked at him, I felt real, unconditional love. And I felt completely loved. He was the only person I ever met whose soul I could clearly see in his eyes. And I had more faith in him than I’ve ever had in another human being.


          After I lost him, on the rare occassions I saw him, I could feel the shape, the moving embodiment, of the hole in my heart.

       “She longed to know what at the moment was passing in his mind, in what manner he thought of her, and whether, in defiance of everything, she was still dear to him. Perhaps he had been civil only because he felt himself at ease; yet there had been that in his voice which was not like ease. Whether he had felt more of pain or of pleasure in seeing her she could not tell, but he certainly had not seen her with composure.”
(Jane Austen,”Pride and prejudice”, Chapter 43)

       “She longed to know what at the moment was passing in his mind, in what manner he thought of her, and whether, in defiance of everything, she was still dear to him. Perhaps he had been civil only because he felt himself at ease; yet there had been that in his voice which was not like ease. Whether he had felt more of pain or of pleasure in seeing her she could not tell, but he certainly had not seen her with composure.”

(Jane Austen,”Pride and prejudice”, Chapter 43)

It’s amazing I’m in this maze with you
        I just can’t crack your code.
One day you’re screaming you love me 
        loud
The next day you’re so cold.
One day you’re here, 
One day you’re there, 
One day you care.
You get the air out my lungs whenever
            you need it.
And you take the blade right out my
heart just so you can watch me bleeding.
I still don’t know why,
             Why I love you so much.

It’s amazing I’m in this maze with you
        I just can’t crack your code.
One day you’re screaming you love me
        loud

The next day you’re so cold.
One day you’re here,
One day you’re there,
One day you care.

You get the air out my lungs whenever
            you need it.
And you take the blade right out my
heart just so you can watch me bleeding.
I still don’t know why,
             Why I love you so much.


                     I still dwelled on “what went wrong” much more than I cared to admit to anyone - even to myself; and the thought of it could still stop me in my tracks, send a ripple through my heart, fix a knot in my chest.


                     I still dwelled on “what went wrong” much more than I cared to admit to anyone - even to myself; and the thought of it could still stop me in my tracks, send a ripple through my heart, fix a knot in my chest.

Dair Appreciation Week: Day Six & Day Seven (Favorite Song that Reminds You of Dair and a Dair AU)
**Song: Breakin’ by The All American Rejects
"Hold on tight
Wrap your arms around me til your knuckles are burning white
All your tears
Couldn’t match the bitter taste of all these wasted years
You take take
Everything that wasn’t even yours
Wait wait
You don’t got a hold of me anymore
In a clear view there’s a silhouette
And I watch you and I can’t forget
(Knew we were done when you locked that door)
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking’s what the heart is for
When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close, do you feel regret
(Keeping me down when I hit that floor)
And I figured it out girl
Breaking’s what your heart is for
(For) so long
I’ve had to bite my tongue 
But what’s the point if the feelings gone?
I turn my head (I turn my head)
A blind eye only sees a memory but all I see is red (all I see is red)
Now don’t don’t
Say it didn’t happen that way
I won’t won’t
Believe another word that you say
In a clear view there’s a silhouette
And I watch you and I can’t forget
(Knew we were done when you locked that door)
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking’s what the heart is for
When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close, do you feel regret
(Keeping me down when I hit that floor)
And I figured it out girl
Breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
And not a soul sleeps
Another heart skips a beat
It’s every note that you wrote 
And I hope that you choke on the lines
You’re wasting my time, another heart beats tonight
In a clear view there’s a silhouette
And I watch you no I’ll never forget
(Knew we were done when you locked that door)
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking’s what the heart is for
When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close, do you feel regret
(Keeping me down when I hit that floor)
And I figured it out girl
Breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for”
**AU: Blair tries to come back into Dan’s life after several years without communication, but Dan can’t forgive and forget so easily.
_______________________________
The reason I chose this song is because as much as I love Dan and Blair together, at the end of the day she made the decision to leave Dan behind without even so much as a proper explanation. So yes, I am all for Dan calling her out on her bullshit and making her fight for his respect again. And that’s where this song fits my AU too because we all know eventually she’ll come back to him, once she’s realized what a mistake she made in letting him go. But I want it to be too late for her. I don’t like the idea that Dan would pine for her the rest of his life and never move on. I want Dan to have found someone new (not Serena), and moved on from Blair and all the ridiculous drama that came along with being apart of the UES.

Dair Appreciation Week: Day Six & Day Seven (Favorite Song that Reminds You of Dair and a Dair AU)

**Song: Breakin’ by The All American Rejects

"Hold on tight
Wrap your arms around me til your knuckles are burning white
All your tears
Couldn’t match the bitter taste of all these wasted years

You take take
Everything that wasn’t even yours
Wait wait
You don’t got a hold of me anymore

In a clear view there’s a silhouette
And I watch you and I can’t forget
(Knew we were done when you locked that door)
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking’s what the heart is for
When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close, do you feel regret
(Keeping me down when I hit that floor)
And I figured it out girl
Breaking’s what your heart is for

(For) so long
I’ve had to bite my tongue
But what’s the point if the feelings gone?
I turn my head (I turn my head)
A blind eye only sees a memory but all I see is red (all I see is red)

Now don’t don’t
Say it didn’t happen that way
I won’t won’t
Believe another word that you say

In a clear view there’s a silhouette
And I watch you and I can’t forget
(Knew we were done when you locked that door)
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking’s what the heart is for
When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close, do you feel regret
(Keeping me down when I hit that floor)
And I figured it out girl
Breaking’s what your heart is for

Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for

And not a soul sleeps
Another heart skips a beat
It’s every note that you wrote
And I hope that you choke on the lines
You’re wasting my time, another heart beats tonight

In a clear view there’s a silhouette
And I watch you no I’ll never forget
(Knew we were done when you locked that door)
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking’s what the heart is for
When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close, do you feel regret
(Keeping me down when I hit that floor)
And I figured it out girl
Breaking’s what your heart is for

Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for
Yeah breaking’s what your heart is for”

**AU: Blair tries to come back into Dan’s life after several years without communication, but Dan can’t forgive and forget so easily.

_______________________________

The reason I chose this song is because as much as I love Dan and Blair together, at the end of the day she made the decision to leave Dan behind without even so much as a proper explanation. So yes, I am all for Dan calling her out on her bullshit and making her fight for his respect again. And that’s where this song fits my AU too because we all know eventually she’ll come back to him, once she’s realized what a mistake she made in letting him go. But I want it to be too late for her. I don’t like the idea that Dan would pine for her the rest of his life and never move on. I want Dan to have found someone new (not Serena), and moved on from Blair and all the ridiculous drama that came along with being apart of the UES.