Sometimes I can actually fool myself into thinking I’ve gotten over you. I go on with my days without any sadness or loneliness, life is normal, at least better than it used to be. Then unexpectedly you just slam into my thoughts, like a blast of vivid everything; emotions and memories and breathlessness I could almost touch you, see you. And for a split second I remember all the happiness and then just as fleetingly I feel the pain. Just as immense, just as fresh as the moment you left. That’s when I realize I could never forget. Your shadow will be with me wherever I go. And it hurts that that’s the only thing I will ever have left of you.
I want you to know that, honestly, I’m fine now. Not because time has passed or that I’m moving on with my life. Not even because I’ve finally found who I’m supposed to be and that I picked up the pieces of myself that you shattered. I’m ok now because I accept that it won’t ever be easy, the not-having-you part. I accept that there will always be a hollow space inside of me where you used to be. I’m accepting it. All of it. You’re gone. And no matter how much I convince myself that I forgot you, I won’t, not really. Because you will always be a part of me. And I’m finally fine with that.

That’s all. This is, as they say, the darkest timeline. Everywhere else, nay, “everywhen” else — us in the Civil War, us in Ancient Egypt, us in the swinging ’60s — we are happy.

If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe — just this one — where we don’t end up together. Here and now just happens to be it. If you think of it this way, nothing is our fault.

Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you. (x)






I really want to read my book but I also want to watch 87 hours of Netflix and travel the world and and kiss someone I like and sleep for most of the day… And also I have a lot of homework

this is literally my life

how can this be so accurate

Yes to this. But instead of homework, I have actual real work now. *le sighs*

Did you know that for pretty much the entire history of the human species, the average life span was less than thirty years? You could count on ten years or so of real adulthood, right? There was no planning for retirement. There was no planning for a career. No time for a future. But then the life spans started getting longer, and people started having more and more future, and so they spent more time thinking about it. About the future. And now life has become the future—you go to high school so you can go to college so you can get a good job so you can get a nice house so you can afford to send your kids to college so they can get a good job so they can get a nice house so they can afford to send their kids to college.
Margo, Paper Towns by John Green (via suzensath)